


The Unfortunate Side Effects of Tutoring a Gryffindor

by SoVeryTired



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: All Platonic - Freeform, Author Trying to be Funny, Crack, Gen, Harry does stupid things, Hermione is just helpful, Humor, No Romance, Rated for kinda bad language, Tom is not happy with Harry doing stupid things, Weird potions effects
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-27
Updated: 2020-08-27
Packaged: 2021-03-06 21:01:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,312
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26145301
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SoVeryTired/pseuds/SoVeryTired
Summary: “What the fuck did you do, Harry? I’m turning fucking orange!”Harry shrugged sheepishly. “My bad.”“I told you not to add it to the potion!”“Apologies.”“Circe, Harry! Tutoring session over! You are officially the worst student I’ve ever had the misfortune of teaching!”Harry at least had the grace to look ashamed.
Relationships: Harry Potter & Tom Riddle
Comments: 2
Kudos: 9





	The Unfortunate Side Effects of Tutoring a Gryffindor

**Author's Note:**

> fkjd;lfkjslkdfjdf I finally finished it! It only took be two weeks to write a thousand words or so, and it has a terrible ending, but it's finally done!  
> I actually wrote more, but I didn't like what I wrote so I scrapped it.  
> My poor attempts to be funny, haha. Everything platonic!  
> Tom = Tom Riddle. Mr. Voldemort himself. But it's... some kind of AU. I'm not sure what, though.  
> Enjoy!

"Psst. Tom. _Tom_. Tom!"

Tom whipped his head around to tell Harry off for disturbing him (again!) while he was in the middle of brewing a very volatile potion.

To his horror, he saw Harry dangling a bottle full of exploding erumpent fluid right over his cauldron.

"Harry, _no_." Tom whispered desperately.

Harry grinned mischievously.

"Harry, _yes._ "

Tom stared in horrified fascination as Harry dumped the whole contents of the bottle into his already violent purple and frothing potion.

He didn't even have enough time to dodge or shield before the potion exploded in a delighted Harry's face. His clothes were sizzling, small patches of skin visible where the robes had burned away.

"Oh, bloody hell."

OoOoOoOoO

"What the fuck did you do, Harry? I'm turning fucking orange!"

Harry shrugged sheepishly. "My bad."

"I _told_ you not to add it to the potion!"

"Apologies."

"Circe, Harry! Tutoring session over! You are officially the worst student I've ever had the misfortune of teaching!"

Harry at least had the grace to look ashamed.

OoOoOoOoO

Two hours later, the aftereffects of the potion still hadn't worn off. If anything, they got _worse._ He was turning _rainbow._ He looked like he had been taking fashion tips from fucking Dumbledore!

_And_ his robes weren't coming off.

" _Reparo._ " He tried to patch up the holes in his robes, to no avail. He then tried everything he could to at _least_ make that accursed rainbow potion go away. " _Evanesco. Scourgify. Tergeo._ Damnit!"

And where the fuck did Harry go?

Merlin, that was _so_ Harry. Splash a potion that turns you into a human chameleon, with possible other side effects, and two hours later ditch you!

Tom hadn't even _seen_ him sneak out. Someone with such skills in subterfuge really should be a Slytherin. Or a Ravenclaw, at least.

At the moment, Tom was alone in a half-melted cauldron, terribly damaged robes, and disgustingly colorful skin. Not to mention the potion residue coating the wall and floors, making the room look like something out of a deranged fairy tale.

It was giving him a terrible migraine.

Unless, of course, that was a side effect of the potion, its contents unknown. He really hoped Harry hadn't put anything too potent in it… besides the exploding erumpent fluid.

Never again was he going to tutor Harry - or any Gryffindors, as a matter of fact - again. Not even if Merlin came back from the dead and begged him.

Giving up, Tom just cast a quick glamour to hide his multicolored skin.

Then, he walked out into the Great Hall like everything was sunshine and rainbows. Except Tom didn't really like sunshine and he _really_ didn't like rainbows, so it was more like he walked in like an angry thunder god.

Lucius shifted slightly, making room for the irate Slytherin. He eyed him nervously as Tom roughly shoved a first year off the bench.

Tom glared at him, daring him to say something. Lucius wisely kept his mouth shut.

OoOoOoOoO

An hour after dinner was over, and the colors _still_ hadn't come off! What the _hell_ had Harry put in that potion? Tom decided to go find him.

Tom turned, and came face to face with brilliant green eyes.

"Speak of the devil and he shall appear." Tom muttered under his breath.

"What was that?" Harry asked.

"Nothing."

As they stood in awkward silence, Tom realized how close they were. He took a step backwards, and Harry, flushing, did the same.

"So, um, Tom, I just… was wondering if you were still… you know… rainbow."

Tom snorted. "Yes, Harry, I'm still rainbow. Whatever you put in that potion must have been _really_ potent." Tom gave him the evil eye. "Considering you were supposed to be making a _Pepper-Up_ Potion.

"Now, since, obviously, the tutoring session didn't go quite as well as I had hoped, I'm going to have to assign you homework."

Tom relished the way Harry's draw dropped open in shock and indignation.

He continued relentlessly. "I want you to write an essay - 4 feet - about when to use exploding erumpent fluid whilst brewing potions."

Harry was making small noises of protest.

"Due in two days."

Harry snapped out of his stupor and started arguing. "Tooooooom," he whined, "why would you do this to meeeee? This is revenge for the-the potion, isn't it?"

Tom patted Harry's head condescendingly. "It's my job as a tutor to help you understand the dangers of certain potion ingredients."

"This is _so_ revenge for the potion." Harry grumbled.

OoOoOoOoO

Tom stripped the glamour in the privacy of his bed. He was, sadly, still rainbow.

It was _sure_ to be gone by morning, wasn't it?

OoOoOoOoO

When Tom awoke, his first thought was _bloody fucking Merlin._

The world was rainbow. An outrageously neon rainbow. It looked like a _drunk Hufflepuff_ had a party right in his dorm. His bedsheets were a vivid red. Red! Gryffindor colors! How the _hell-_!

The potion. Of-fucking-course.

Harry might be bad at brewing potions, but he wasn't _that_ bad. How could he have screwed up _so much_?

It was, frankly, astonishing.

All of the colors were inverted - green became red, black became white, etc - and were also horrifyingly bright.

On the bright side, his rainbow spots were gone.

"I would rather have the rainbow spots," he said out loud.

Lucius and Nott sent him weird looks. Tom glared back.

OoOoOoOoO

Tom walked down to the Great Hall with long, purposeful strides. People turned and gawked as he walked by, but he ignored them all. Peasants.

Also, it hurt his eyes to look at them.

Literally.

Likewise, it would be a pain to tutor Potter again, but Slughorn had insisted.

A shockingly white mess of unruly hair that could only be Harry's caught his eye. "Harry!"

Harry turned slowly and blinked rapidly. "Holy Merlin, Tom. that's a new look. Um, love the hair. And… the eyes… and the… wow, you look very great. And… blonde. Are you going for a Malfoy look-? Because honestly…"

Tom interrupted him. "What do you mean? I'm not… _blonde_."

"Uh, yes you are. Hermione, doesn't he look very blonde?"

The bushy-haired muggleborn turned around and gasped slightly. "Oh, yes, Riddle. You, er… new hairstyle? Looks great!"

"I don't-"

"Oh, but Tom, you're not rainbow anymore! Except, now, you're… blonde."

"What the hell do you mean? I'm _not_ blonde."

Harry stared at him nervously. "Err, yes, you are."

He suddenly realized that when he had looked in the mirror that morning, he looked _normal._ Which meant he was… not. Oh, damn.

OoOoOoOoO

Tom spent all of Charms trying to charm his hair back to its regular color. It _should've_ been easy work, seeing as color changing charms were 4th-year material, but the hair just _wouldn't_ -

It appeared Tom would be stuck with ridiculous hair for an indefinite period of time.

_It could be worse,_ he groused to himself. The thought did not comfort him whatsoever.

And to top it all off, he had to tutor the thrice-damned Potter _again._ As easy as he was to manipulate, Slughorn would not budge on the matter.

" _Colovaria_. _Colovaria_! Damn it!" Tom strongly resisted the urge to snap his wand.

Granger looked up from the block of wood she was practicing on. "We're supposed to be practicing the _Gouging_ charm, you know."

"I am aware." Tom gritted his teeth, and waved his wand again. " _Defodio_!" His wand a deep line into the block of wood.

She paused thoughtfully. "You know, you should try putting an emphasis on the _va._ Co-loh- _va_ -ria!" Her hair changed into the same Malfoy-esque shade as his. "See?"

"Yes, Granger," Tom replied stiffly. "I will… think about it. Thank you."

She beamed at him. "Happy to help, Riddle."

The moment she turned away, he whispered under his breath. "Co-loh- _va_ -ria."

To his frustration, his hair remained exactly the same.

**Author's Note:**

> Oh, jeez, like I said: terrible ending. It's just so incomplete. But all the writing after that was absolute and utter CRAP. I wrote, like, three different endings but I hated all of them.  
> So, naturally, I didn't end it.  
> It was gonna end with Tom's hair getting fixed...  
> But nope!  
> There was also supposed to be more to the beginning, but I didn't like those parts either. I might continue it... one day. Maybe. Possibly. Probably not.  
> If you want to see the parts of this story that I never added, just PM me or comment and I'll reply! Within a week, hopefully. I don't get emails for this, so it might take a while, but I'll try my best.  
> Thank you for reading!


End file.
